Lovely.

 A beautiful mystery… So beautiful and intriguing almost like she keeps on calling your name, almost like she was meant for you, almost like you have her. But just for the night because the second she leaves, unintentionally you will catch yourself spending hours daydreaming of her. You will keep replaying crisp shadows of her perfect silhouette putting on her clothes as if in a rush to escape her nightmare. Her nightmare that just happened to be your dearest dream. The dream that tonight she will stay. The dream that you know you will finally solve her like some childish puzzle. The dream that tonight you’ll finally be yours. However, all that is just a dream, and that realization bruises your whole existence as if a razor blade was carving a message into your heart producing agonizing pain along with a scarred tattoo on the purest and most innocent part of your being. The message will always be there as a reminder that she’s just too good.

She’s in a blitz to leave and even though you’re not the reason, you’ll never know that minor detail. She’s impossible to read thus every move she makes, strategically planned in her mind to a point of perfection, catches you off guard. Every time she comes back you sense an incredible adrenaline rush turning into a powerful euphoria. You always check twice if it’s really her and not just a product of your imagination reflecting your hopeless desires. You never know if she will come back and that’s what makes the pain of persisting under her charm so wonderful. You’re so used to guessing you don’t even dare to ask her questions. Or perhaps you’re just so terrified by the idea of losing the miracle of her presence, you bite your tongue every time she glares at you with her bright green eyes. They only seldom manifest her true heartache that’s beneath all of the games. You never notice the grief that’s at the base of her nature, being too busy filtering every syllable that comes out of your mouth silently praying not to scare her off. As if she was an extremely rare wild animal. It doesn’t matter how careful and well thought through each one of your phrases were, she’s always one step ahead to find a reason to leave. A reason to be independent. A reason to never be yours.

Heartbroken you continue to convince yourself that she simply searching for the good guy, and when she sees how worthy you are, the happy ending is guaranteed. 

You couldn’t be more wrong…